


Ships and Schemes

by Molly_Hats



Series: Batfam Week 2018 [4]
Category: Batman (Comics), Robin (Comics)
Genre: Fanfiction, Idk about the timeline man, New 52, Preboot, mention of mpreg in a tabloid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 12:25:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17121320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Molly_Hats/pseuds/Molly_Hats
Summary: “So you planted the rumor?”“Yep.  I had help, though.  Newspapers and gossip rags were one thing, but then I mobilized a particular subsection of the internet.”Bruce raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to fill the dramatic pause.Barbara did not disappoint.  “Shippers.”





	Ships and Schemes

**Author's Note:**

> I technically wrote this for day 6: Hurt/Comfort, so I’m Putting it in the series but not tagging it. It’s a bit late. Hope you still enjoy.

“Oracle. Why is the third most popular google search for Bruce Wayne about Batman?” Bruce asked in a well-hidden panic.

There was something that sounded disturbingly like laughter on the other end of the line before Barbara answered, “did you click through to see what the links were?”

Bruce frowned and scrolled down the listing of webpages. His brow furrowing, he clicked on one, a tabloid that Vicki Vale would turn her nose up at.

“ _Bruce Wayne left Batman for Jezabel Jet? Dark Knight demands child support for Robin_.”

 _What the hell…?_ “How did this start?” Bruce asked.

“I’m the main one responsible,” Barbara admitted. “Paparazzi spotted you leaving in the Batmobile a few years ago--you were preoccupied. It was a month or so before the third Robin came.”

Bruce winced. He _had_ been less cautious for a time. “So you planted the rumor?”

“Yep. I had help, though. Newspapers and gossip rags were one thing, but then I mobilized a particular subsection of the internet.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to fill the dramatic pause.

Barbara did not disappoint. “Shippers.”

* * *

And They Were Roommates by SpoilerAlert52  
_Gotham RPF_ , _Superhero RPF_  
_Bruce Wayne/Batman, Bruce Wayne, Batman, Batman’s name is Lazzaro Mann, Roommates_

Bruce is excited to make friends when he’s sent to a boarding school. Unfortunately, his roommate is standoffish, rude, and mysterious. Bruce resolves to discover what his roommate is hiding. The answers may be too much for him to handle.

* * *

In Safe Wings by BatBlood  
_Gotham RPF_ , _Superhero RPF_  
_Bruce Wayne/Batman, Bruce Wayne, Batman, Kidnapping, Threats, Minor Injuries, Nothing super violent happens, just a standard Gotham kidnapping donchaknow, onlyinGotham_

Bruce gets kidnapped. Little do his kidnappers know, they’ve messed with the wrong guy--or, more accurately, the wrong guy’s boyfriend.

* * *

“There are over a thousand of these,” Bruce’s voice muttered over the line. “Dating back years. How did I not know about this?”

“You had more important stuff to deal with,” Barbara said, shrugging despite him being unable to see her. 

“Some of this is sexual. _Quite_ sexual.”

“Naturally.”

“...One of the most prolific smut writers is SpoilerAlert52. Is that _our_ Spoiler?”

Barbara smirked. “No idea. You ask her.”

“I left an anonymous comment on one of her shorter works.”

Barbara shook her head. “No threatening.”

“Of course not. There were several typos I simply pointed out, as well as some...inaccurate portions.”

Barbara pinched the bridge of her nose. “Batman.”

“Oracle.”

“We did it to help you. It’s another layer of obfuscation over your identity.”

“I understand.” Bruce hung up. 

Barbara sighed. She glanced over at one of her non centrally located screens, scrolled to the bottom, and hit “Post.”

* * *

Your War’s Not Ended by Thunder Rolling  
_Gotham RPF_ , _Superhero RPF_  
_Bruce Wayne/Batman, Bruce Wayne, Batman, Hurt/Comfort, Grief, Recovery, Major Injuries, Food_

Bruce uncovers long-buried emotions within himself when Batman nearly dies.

* * *

Steph easily passed into the kitchen where Dick and Damian ate. She was a Bat now, after all. As she turned the corner, she spotted what she most wanted to see: Damian, alone at the table, messing with a pencil and paper she couldn’t see. 

He looked up. “Grayson, I--” His face fell back into its usual scowl. “What do you want, Fatgirl?” 

Steph tossed the tabloid onto the table, letting it slide over to him. She grinned in delight, holding back snorting laughter.

Damian stared at it for a moment, his face turning pale. The cheaply printed paper featured a blurry picture of him scowling as he stood at Bruce’s side. Beside it in a small circle was a similarly blurry picture of Batman. A large headline in bright yellow block letters spelled out “Son of Batman?” with white subtitles declaring that the magazine contained “the shocking truth of Damian Wayne’s parentage!”

“This is a threat!” Damian said. “Father’s identity is in danger!”

Steph shook her head. “I read the whole thing. It’s usual tabloid nonsense--it thinks you’re Batman’s bio son. Like, Bruce and Batman loved each other very much and somehow pulled off some mpreg bs.”

Damian’s thick eyebrows lifted briefly in confusion before lowering back into a scowl. “Are people that stupid?”

Steph shrugged. “Good for us. Misinformation is Oracle’s actual job. Well, one of them. We help.”

“You _helped_ create this abomination?” Damian snarled. 

Steph smirked. She flipped the magazine open to the offending article and tapped it with her finger. “I’m one of the ‘reliable sources.’ Trust me, Dami, trolling the media is one of the perks of the job.”

Damian shook his head. “I will _never_ spread baseless and absurd information about my father.”

“Give it a few years. Enjoy the article. Show it to Dick when he gets back, will you?”

Damian stared down at the paper, and Steph could see his eyes moving back and forth as he read the lines. She probably shouldn’t press her luck by staying after he saw what was in that. Quietly, she took her leave.

* * *

5 Times Batman Saved Bruce Wayne, and One Time Bruce Saved Him by ExceedinglyPeculiar  
_Gotham RPF_ , _Superhero RPF_  
_Bruce Wayne/Batman, Bruce Wayne, Batman, Cameos by unnamed bad guys, 5 + 1 Things_

What it says on the tin: 5 times Batman saved Bruce Wayne, and one time Bruce returned the favor.

* * *

“So you’re saying that Brucie and Bats are the same person,” Harper said slowly.

Tim, who had been selected to be Harper’s Batcave Tour Guide, nodded.

Harper smacked a palm to her forehead.

“What’s wrong?” Tim asked.

“Well, I made some wrong assumptions about Bruce,” Harper said slowly.

“To be expected. That’s kinda the purpose of the disguise.”

Harper’s voice dipped in volume dramatically. She hoped desperately that Bruce, across the cave at the computer with Dick, wouldn’t hear. “I also may have written some Batwayne.” She met his eyes. “Fanfic. With Batman and...Bruce Wayne...being involved. Romantically.” Her whisper trailed into nothing. 

She cleared her throat. “Cullen was the main shipper, honestly. I wrote most of it for him.” She finally dared to glance over at Tim, who was wearing a grin so huge she was tempted to check him for Joker gas.

“You’re exceedingly peculiar,” Tim said.

“Excuse you?”

“No spaces. ExceedinglyPeculiar. You wrote...uh…” Tim squinted. “You mostly write Wicked. Some other musicals. A couple Batwaynes--some of the first ones not made by people in the family, actually.” He grinned. “Clearly it’s fate.”

Harper raised her eyebrows. “Wait, so you guys are actually doing that intentionally?”

Tim nodded, a satisfied smile on his face. “I’m Migravictorious.”

“Oh.” Harper blinked several times. “This is… a lot to take in.”

“Understandeable,” Tim said. “Wanna look at the arsenal?”

“Heck yeah.”

* * *

Calling to the Underworld by Migravictorious  
_Gotham RPF_ , _Superhero RPF_  
_Bruce Wayne/Batman, Bruce Wayne, Batman, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Major Injuries, nobody dies_

When Bruce Wayne finds the infamous Batman bleeding out in an alley near Wayne Enterprises, he takes it upon himself to nurse Gotham’s guardian back to help. Little does he realize just how powerful Batman’s enemies are...or how much the two of them have in common.

* * *

“Mr. Wayne! Look over here!”

“Mr. Wayne!”

“Mr. Wayne, are you certain of your decision to propose to Ms. Kyle?” some hotshot yelled into his ear, standing out from the throng of paparazzi solely due to proximity.

“Mr. Wayne, what will Batman think of your marriage?”

Bruce blinked. “Batman? Why would Batman care about my engagement?”

The reporter in front of him (Asian, freckled, early 20s, clutching a camera and a recording device, probably from a smaller paper or blog) nodded earnestly, eager to keep his attention. “Because of your history with Batman.”

Bruce blinked again, then laughed, beaming at the kid. “Batman gave his blessing.”

The kid’s eyes widened, and he raised his camera. Generously, Bruce held still.


End file.
